Mom's Thoughts:
Well, we took the leap and got a cat. Elizabeth thought it would help her feel less lonely and anxious, and her Dad and I, being desperate to help her, caved in. We all went to the animal shelter and peered through the glass at the various kitties that had landed there in the last couple of weeks. They were all precious and wonderful. We held them, played with them, read their "vitals," and finally settled on a neutered male, Shadow. He was the perfect blend of playful yet mellow, and friendly to all of us. He is a "blue," although he just looks gray to me. I'm obviously very ignorant of feline particulars.
I was very hesitant to get a cat just yet. I thought it would be good motivation to keep Elizabeth on track with her therapy, so I didn't want to jump the gun and lose a great "carrot." But after a few bad days, I was desperate. Elizabeth had not been able to go to school because her anxiety was so high. She was not completing homework and was falling behind. She's in a lot of honors classes, and a few days of not being able to do anything, well, it's not ideal. Although I have to say, her teachers and the school have been great - very supportive. Actually, I feel the need to digress and tell a quick story about that...
One of Elizabeth's teachers is an intimidating woman from Spain - tall, demanding, and... well, you get the picture. Everyone is petrified of her, but she seems to love Elizabeth. Probably because she is a very dedicated student and works hard. Lots of kids do, but something about her stands out to this teacher. Anyway, when she learned of the severity of Elizabeth's panic attacks that made her leave class (and eventually school,) she insisted on coming to the counselor's office to see her. She gave her a bunch of hugs and brought her chocolate from a bin in her class, knowing that was her favorite. "Eat this chocolate," she insisted, thrusting several bars of Hershey's minis into her hands. She unwrapped a piece of her own, and then looked at Elizabeth expectantly as she ate it. Elizabeth slowly unwrapped a piece and ate it as well. What else could she do? I cried when I heard that story, and my husband cried when I told it to him. There is nothing like someone being immensely kind to your child in a time of need to make a grown man cry. Make it a tall, intimidating, demanding person, and well... it is an even more compelling reason to cry. Often the toughest shell hides the softest interior.
After a teary hour in the counselor's office (teary for me,) I felt compelled to do something drastic, and if that meant bringing in a cat, so be it. Honestly, I'd bring in an entire zoo if that would make things better for her. (OK, I'm taking that back already!) However, after Shadow arrived at our home, I was pleasantly surprised at how much he helped Elizabeth. He kept her company, and her anxiety levels dropped. She was able to return to school the following week. We call him her Ninja Service Cat. King Kong is definitely afraid of cats, we've decided!
The days haven't been easy, and she has not been panic or OCD free by any means. We have had two very rough days yesterday and today, for example. I am still desperate to get her the proper help. But there is a glimmer of hope. It has been a very slippery slope the last few months, but I feel like this is the first we've gone back up the slide a bit. I'm still holding my breath a bit each morning as she goes out to the bus, but I have much more hope that she'll make it through the school day again.
By the way, we have finally found a therapist that has begun CBT and understands OCD. Finally! She is wonderful, and I have great confidence in her. But I admit it, I'm extremely impatient. Elizabeth has only had one session with her (I went to the first one alone where she got the history, etc.) but I already have a long list of "to do's" for her, and Elizabeth's first "homework assignment" didn't hit any of them! It took every ounce of maturity and self-control (I fancy myself having some of both of those) to not march back into the office and demand a re-do when I heard what Elizabeth was going to work on this week. UGH!! She's not going to school, and she's working on not moving her rubber duck in the shower?? You've got to be kidding me!!
Frustrating, definitely. But I know the wisdom of it, I really do. She has just met her once and has to start slow, getting to know her. Part of the difficulty Elizabeth is having is from moving too fast, doing too much at one time, underestimating the crippling difficulty of seemingly easy tasks. But meanwhile, we are dealing with major panic attacks almost every day and paralyzing anxiety.
I took her to see Dr. G yesterday and he was able to see her in the middle of one of her panic attacks. It was eye-opening to him, and I got a chance to say, "See? See what I mean? I'm not one of those overreacting mommies!" He is so good, but he is not a specialist. He gave her a new prescription to help get it under control so she could focus on her CBT, but reiterated to me that she needs to see a psychiatrist. I've not been able to find one in my area that specialized in children and also takes our insurance, except the one we've had an appointment with for 3 months, and we still have another 1 1/2 months left till that appointment. I decided today we have to go out of network and try to get her in sooner. I'm working on that... I'll report back as soon as I have an answer.
Pray for us. We need it!
