Shadow!!

Elizabeth's Thoughts:

Finally!! A friend! My cat, Shadow joined our family a few weeks ago. He is my inspiration! Everyday before I leave to go to school my mom says "Remember me and Ninja Cat are in your bag with you all day! We will always love you and we've got your back!" It actually helps. Really? It blows my mind too.

Although, my kitty cat has helped me get through hard nights, day problems have increased. School has been terrible. There's still no problems with grades, teachers or friends, but I have trouble paying attention. I suddenly want to cry. It makes zero sense. I go to the counselor and rock back and forth for a class period and then go back to a normal day. It's embarrassing and I feel so behind! I am so frustrated!!

Even at home, (other than my AMAZING ninja cat) I've been shaky. I can't explain my weird actions to my friends and I feel like I need their support, but the select few of them I trusted to tell didn't take it seriously when I try to explain these problems. to a I'll be having a great day, laughing and fine and it happens again. Darkness. Sadness. I suddenly change and they think it's a joke. I'll feel lost, feeling as if the sadness has completely engulfed me. I ripped my feet with nail clippers the other day. That was rock bottom. My entire foot now openly shows the corruption building inside or me. The doctor says this is a type of cutting, but even the thought of cutting has always grossed me out! Why is this? I know OCD is making me doubt why clipping skin with nail clippers is considered self-harm, but I continue to question it's truth. I hope now with my knowledge, drive to beat King Kong and my amazing ninja cat I can climb out of the ditch I am stuck in now.

But you know, I truly think God gave me OCD because he knows I have the strength to fight it. I'd rather carry this burden than someone who is at a point of not being able to fight anymore. Can't get a rainbow without a storm. :)